My grandmother had the worst taste in clothes. Okay so part of that was because we were poor, but part of that was for her own amusement I think. When I was six she actually sent me out of the house to play at the park with my brother in a- are you ready- hot pink velour pant suit. I swear to god she must have waited til I was out the door and then killed herself laughing. "I can't believe she put it on!"

It's okay. Twelve years later when I told her I was a lesbian, I blamed it on the pant suit.



I love that joke. It gets the best reaction every time I tell it. I usually place it mid way through my set, after I've won people over with other jokes. And depending on where I am, people either laugh a lot, or, if I'm somewhere a bit more midwestern- you know, the red states, I tend to get blank stares. Terrified looks. It's like... if you're gay.... and we were laughing at you.... does that make us... ow.

But that's comedy isn't it? Pushing the boundaries? Making people laugh and maybe, if you're doing your job, making them think? Needless to say with all those boundaries I was pushing I spent my fair share of time in trouble when I was younger. But it was all worth it for those laughs.

Anyway, I'm Ramona Fisher, and you probably haven't heard of me. But you've probably laughed at me in some ridiculous costume on SNL, aka my preferred method of paying my rent. Don't get me wrong, it's a pretty great job to have, and it's amazing to be stepping into the shoes of Jane Curtin and Gilda Radner and Molly Shannon, and sometimes we do great work, but more often than not SNL has become a bit more low brow than I like. I like to think my standup act is a bit more edgy and thought provoking. Then again I'm as much a narcissist as the next girl. So that could be complete bullshit.

So maybe you've seen me on SNL, maybe you've read my column in Rolling Stone, where I relate life to the best music lyrics you've never heard, or maybe you've seen me with my "special friend" connor in the tabloids. don't even get me started on that. She's my best friend and she's gorgeous, but come on. We've been friends since middle school. It's pretty fantastic that we're both so successful and still friends. Most friendships get ruined over things like that. I like to think we are the matt damon and ben affleck of new york ladies if matt and ben slept together...

Or maybe you've never heard of me at all. I don't like to assume people read magazines or stay up late to watch crappy TV, or that that would even make me a celebrity. Maybe you're just sitting in your PJ's net surfing and you came across my VERY sexy face and want to say hello. Or you'd like to know where all the happening clam bakes are in the big apple. In any event, you've come to the right place. Plus, again it could just be my narcissism, but I'm kind of a nice, funny person to be around. Or at the very least drink/make out with.

ramonasaurus rex. Text me anytime. But please, no autographs.