Oh hey bandwagon! Let's hop on!

I voted yesterday. (I think)

I'd like to point out that the above is just a joke. Since nobody seems to have a sense of humor anymore.

Anyway.

There's been a lot of talk and I really don't know where to start. First of all, yeah, I'm not working at Saturday Night Live anymore. What my agent wants me to say is that they are all incredibly talented people and it was a mutual decision and I wish them all the best. But ummmm, I really don't. Anyone who actually watches SNL knows that as of late it has been shit on toast, and I was the only person bringing that up in meetings. And apparently if you bruise Lorne Michaels' fragile ego, he accuses you of having a drinking problem to make him look like less of a prick.

Whatever. Be sure to look around here soon for standup tour dates and information on where you can see JUNO (which will begin filming right after Thanksgiving, and is something I wrote) annnnd Running With Scissors, which begins production right after the new year, and in which I will be playing a moderately sized role. You can also check out the blog archives to see some of my stuff for EW, and read more as I write monthly. See? I haven't fallen off the face of the earth, I'm not lying face down in a puddle of my own alcoholism induced vomit- I am working. A lot actually. Just not for the egocentric facists at NBC. In the words of darryl hammond via sean connery- "suck on THAT, trebek!"

In personal news, I recently broke up with my girlfriend and now my roomate is moving out to pursue bigger and better things. Why on earth he would want to live with like... 8 smelly guys and dogs over one very cute girl and a cat, is beyond me. But Chump Change has new stuff coming out soon, so be on the lookout. Since they are most definitely the coolest band you aren't listening to, but probably should.

Also. I dyed my hair red. It's pretty hot tamale-tastic.

And finally, on the global scale. We all took the Barack kool-aid and liked it, Elizabeth Hasselback. I drink your kool-aid. I drink it up! Sllllurp? Anyway. And while that is a step in the right direction, all I have to say about OTHER current events is, whatthefuck California? Guess it's a good thing I fucking hate Los Angeles and never plan to be married there. Aren't you supposed to be a blue state? You know, blue. Level headed. Normal. Cool. Liberal. Arnold Schwartznegger will not be invited to anymore queer eye for the straight guy parties anymore, that's for sure. Florida is the real shocker though. Did all those beautiful glorious trannies sleep through election day? What happened?! Black president. No gay marriage. I guess we have a few more years of struggling/complaining before we get our way, kids.

Anyway, I'm on the road with my hetero-life mate and my laptop battery is running low. But before I go I give you:


Pastey.
He is the next Joe Jonas. Seriously.
Someone start the intervention!
I ride a bike.
In retrospect, this was a horrible idea.
Bitch please. Don't mess with a girl from Brooklyn.
Queen of the raging alcoholics! Someone start the intervention!
Oh, if only.
Us > You. Period. End paragraph. Fin.